Having a Flare-Up
When I was first diagnosed with Crohn’s disease-ulcerative colitis, I remember what a frantic time it was for me. I had three jobs (typical when you live in a rural area) in order to make ends meet. My daughter was applying to college (stressful, to say the least), my father was battling bladder cancer, and I was teaching at a local college where none of the ‘real’ faculty knew my name.
I remember it was April, 2006, and when Emma went off with the college tour, I was too sick to even walk! I had to put the seat back in my car and just lie there.
It is easy to feel sorry for oneself during a flare, that’s for sure!
Don’t you just sometimes feel alone, and like throwing in the towel? Do you ever feel embarrassed that you might have an accident — like when you are walking around a college campus with a bunch of high school seniors and their eager parents?
The obvious answers are all yes: we are only human after all, and sometimes a change in seasons can stir up some allergies, a stressful work period can add fatigue and emotional turmoil to your life. It’s okay, though!
I decided just recently, in the midst of a painful flare, that I am not going to let this disease beat me down—I have too many things I want to do in my life! Take Carrie Johnson, the woman’s rowing champion who has Crohn’s–she is pursuing her dream. What about Pearl Jam’s Mike McCready,’or football great, Dave Garrard? They are living with chronic disease, and not letting it run their lives! Me, I’m just an ordinary girl, but I work hard and I’m taking this latest flare day by day…
It wasn’t fun last Wednesday night to be awake most of the night, cramping, feverish, disoriented, feeling the horrible blockage within, knowing I could be headed towards surgery again—feeling incredibly sorry for myself! I stayed in the rest of the week, gradually introducing safe foods back into my diet…
We need to pace ourselves, and admit that a cure isn’t imminent; we need to share our stories and not feel so alone; we need to listen to our bodies, and slow down when they tell us to. Sometimes, though, life is unpredictable and we have to forge ahead…accepting the good and the bad, while maintaining a good attitude and being proactive in our self-care as patients.
I sold a book last week, for my job as a literary agent—it is called “Wonder Woman Isn’t Bulletproof,”‘by the indomitable Shannon Galpin—she is out in the world, trying to make it a better and safer place for women and girls in Afghanistan. Perhaps my flare-up had something to do with my high stress level (bringing a book to auction!), but I wouldn’t change the joy of telling this amazing woman we had a book deal for anything! You can read why I’m so excited here.
Happy Spring—we still have snow where I live
So, it’s back to reality: lots of rest, fluids, I made a naturopathic doctor’s appointment for next week, scheduled a massage (have to budget carefully!), cooked healthy “post-flare-up” foods (rice, broth, soft-boiled eggs, gluten/wheat-free toast, peppermint tea) and ate small amounts while chewing thoroughly, slept almost 20 hours….healing, and feeling better already!